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asked my wife to start smoking.

About 6 years ago I told my wife I wanted to try smoking and to start if I enjoyed it and she gave me her blessing. So that night I bought my first packet and gave it a try and I loved it so I started straight away. Every now and then my wife kept asking if I wanted her to become a smoker and I always told her I would like her to but only if she wanted to do so for herself and not for me but she said she would only start to satisfy me. Then one day I finally said to her that I would love for her to start smoking and she done so without delay.
My question is was it wrong for me to get my wife to start smoking or was it just normal for both partners to smoke.

asked my wife to start smoking.

Its easier when both partners smoke. It is nice to enjoy a cigarette with her talking and relaxing while she smokes with you. Since there is the smokers breath thing that will be a non issue now since she is a smoker. What brand did you get her going with? You may want to try lights for a few weeks to get her lungs use to the new found pleasure. If she didn't want to she would not have taken to smoking.

Only if she doesn't actually like it.

There's a big difference in offering your partner the opportunity to smoke and forcing her to smoke. Most likely, if she was willing to try it just to make you happy, she really wanted to all along. She probably wouldn't keep at it if she didn't enjoy it. After all, there's a financial cost, morning cravings, learning a personal schedule that jives with options at work, etc.

If she feels forced to do it, and continues, it's sort of a mis-perception, and she's probably going to use you as an excuse for a while. But almost every smoker has "that one person" who got him/her to try and "after that, I got hooked."

It's really hard to smoke on any regular level if you really, REALLY don't want to. As for partners being smokers, I'd wager it's more common for both to be alike in smoking preference than different. However, there are many couples who have only one partner as a smoker.

As for whether or not this is wrong, you have to consider that what you did was make an offer. She took the opportunity, and if she liked it, she's now doing it because she wants to. If she didn't like it/pretends to like it when near you, she's going to a great deal more effort than most non-smokers I know.

Because she kept asking you

Because she kept asking you about it it is clear that it was on her mind a lot and she was kind of excited about starting. I think that deep down she probably wants to feel the pleasure that you tell her about. Also it was her choice in the end and she decided to go for it so she probably wanted to all along.

you have an amazing wife.

you have an amazing wife. definitely keep her.

How Do I get my Wife To smoke?

I started smoking about two years ago and enjoy the pleasure plus it relieves stress! My wife is a non smoker, she hasn't smoked in twenty years. Back when we were dating after sex she would always make the comment that the sex was so good it would make you want a cigarette afterwards. So I started smoking secretly, but when she found out she was disappointed. I learned that a previous lover had been a smoker and thought she was being hypocritical! One day under vary stressful conditions I said that I needed a cigarette and she replied so did she. On another occasion I was going to the store to buy some cigarettes and she jokingly asked me to bring her back a pack of Kools and when I did she didn't smoke them! Recently I asked her to smoke with me and she became indignant. She came home from work one day and told me that she was prepared to smoke, but because I upset her on the way home she declined. I told her that she would look sexy and that I probably had a fetish. I think that sometimes she actually wants to but is afraid because of her profession! I'm confused!

How Do I Get My Wife To Smoke?

She is a very independent woman and does not like to be pressured into anything! But if it's her idea she will initiate. I think under the right circumstances she would smoke! Right now I don't know what to make of her attitude. She's at the point where she will buy them for me, hasn't yet indulged.

How Do I get my Wife To smoke?

She use to smoke Newport 100's. Is there a chance that she will resume, seeing that she smoked such a strong cigarette? I smoke Newport's as well hoping that she will miss the taste of such a strong cigarette! What is the character of a women with such a gentle demeanor who smokes a cigarette like Newport's? What is the female Newport smoker like? Can you discern something of a person's character by the brand that they smoke? Why would a women smoke a strong cigarette? I thought women smoked cigarettes like Virginia Slims, Capri's, or something like that? She said that she also smoked Benson & Hedges occasionally. Answers please!

She offered

Hey! She kept offering. You told her what you wanted and she obliged. No guilt there man. Enjoy smoking together. It is great!

she wanted to smoke all

she wanted to smoke all along, she was just waiting for you to give her permission (an excuse) to start.

I start smoking for my boyfriend

I'm currently in the same situation that your wife volunteered to be in. However, I didn't exactly volunteer for it until recently.

I moved to Tokyo, Japan last year around this time to study Japanese. In the process, I met a wonderful man, fell in love with him, and moved in with him and his roommate. The only catch is that they are both smokers. I was aware of his smoking before we even became a couple, but could see past it.

Until recently, that is. It started to cause quite a bit of tension about 6-7 months ago. I asked him to start smoking outside when he decided to smoke at home so that I wouldn't have to breathe in the secondhand smoke, but agreed that he could smoke freely when we went out with his friends, who are also all smokers.

Of course, this all came out over the process of a few fights. I even frankly told him at one point that I wished he would quit, and that led to a very sour weekend between us.

Anyway, I've recently come to see that to smoke and not to smoke is the smoker's (or non-smoker's) choice. I've also come to the conclusion that I may have been too hard on him about smoking and that I have indirectly agreed to sacrificing my health by living with smokers, whether I like it or not. Japan is still a society of heavy smokers as it is. With all of this in hand, I'm surrounded by smoking all day, every day, whether I like it or not.

With all of that in mind, I decided that I would start smoking for the sake of our relationship. I cannot justify in my mind becoming sick from cigarette smoke by not smoking myself and decided to do so for this reason as well.

However, I'm worried that I'm being too black and white. Am I crazy? Am I doing the right thing for our relationship? Is it even healthy to think this?

Your Choice

It is your choice. I think he wants to be with you whether you smoke or not. Have you started yet? I don't think you are crazy. I think it is a natural concern. I love to smoke. My wife smokes with me occasionally to please me. That is only after I asked her to try it. Has he ever asked you?

Being asked

Thanks for your reply and reassurance. :)

I agree with what you're saying. To smoke or not is a personal decision. I have started smoking but only in small steps. We went to a party at a club on Saturday night. While I was off dancing with a friend, I came back to find him smoking. I had bought my current pack the afternoon before while he was at work, brought it with me, and had a smoke with him. He only said, "Don't make yourself sick." We also shared a smoke on the way home. He mentioned that he felt like a bad influence, that I shouldn't start smoking because he smokes, and told me to stop smoking.

He's never asked me to smoke before. When we started dating and I would spend the night with him, I came over one night to find him and his roommate on the couch, smoking. I casually mentioned that I had thought about starting smoking. His roommate said, "No, don't start! It's bad for your health!" My boyfriend said, "Oh no, I feel like such a bad influence." The roommate said to him, "You should quit, then." My boyfriend replied, "I can't."

He has said that he doesn't care if I smoke or not, but I think he really doesn't want me to smoke or even start smoking at all. However, I feel like the relationship will move more smoothly if I'm more relaxed about it and even do it myself.

I think you want to smoke!

I think that you really want to smoke, but some how feel guilty because you were so hard on your boyfriend initially. He doesn't want you to smoke for health reasons and that is a good thing. Do you want to smoke because you want to enjoy the pleasures of smoking, or to keep your man? If it is the latter then there are some personal issues going on worse than smoking! But it really sounds like you just want to be apart of his world and that is not necessarily a bad thing! Smoke by all means! Life is short and people have too many hang ups today. They've destroyed Social Security, run the deficit through the roof, and spent the pensions, who's trying to live long anyway? For what? To see the end? Enjoy life! Tell me what do you think about my latest question about my wife?

Your wife

I don't think there was anything wrong with you asking her to smoke. If she offered in the first place to start to please you, then what's wrong with that? She sounds like she was willingly volunteering and probably curious herself. She's definitely the wife you want to have in your life. :)

I think it's natural for both partners to either smoke or not smoke. It's hard if one does and the other doesn't. Now that I've started smoking, my boyfriend seems a bit more hesitant to smoke around me, and has in fact gone days without touching one. I don't think he's happy with my choice, but I think this is better in the long run for us. There was too much tension when I wasn't smoking for our difference of views.

If she was willing to do it,

If she was willing to do it, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's not like you strapped her down and force fed (for lack of a better term) her them.

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